I’ve had a lovely relationship with myself for years.
Yet, I was still stuck in the loops of self-doubt and scarcity; endlessly comparing myself to others and never feeling like I was enough or that my work deserved recognition.
It wasn’t until I decided to stop treating myself like an adversary that anything changed.
You can change your relationship with yourself too – you just need to start by getting clear on what it is you want and need from yourself, then figure out how to honor those needs.
1. Grant yourself to be somewhere else when you’re bored
If you’ve ever been in a situation when all you wanted was to be somewhere else, then I’m sure you know the feeling of trying desperately to stay engaged and “be present.”
It can take a lot of mental effort to show up in the moment and not think about that thing that sounds like fun right now.
Giving yourself permission to mentally leave and take a mental break when there’s nothing interesting happening will save you from the stress of holding on too tight.
2. Give yourself a treat
Sometimes we have to give ourselves a dish of homemade cookies or a glass of wine just to feel more connected.
Treatments can be as simple as taking a bath or letting yourself wear your favorite outfit, so it doesn’t have to take a lot of money or time – just something that will help you refuel and engage.
3. Have some space so you can be present with others
We rarely have enough space in our lives – whether it’s physical, emotional or even spiritual – and that leads to people getting on our nerves because we’re always trying to fix something that isn’t broken.
When we’re stressed we can’t be present with other people and we make up excuses for how stressed we are, but the reality is that if you need to be somewhere else then you’re not fully engaged.
Give yourself space and feel how it feels.
This will help you get in touch with the real person that lives inside of you, and when she has time to do her own thing she can connect with you more deeply and deeply feel what your heart needs at this moment too.
4. Give yourself 30 minutes a day where you just do nothing
Sometimes we have to remember that we deserve a break.
We need to be in the moment and it doesn’t have to be a particularly interesting or productive time, it just has to be a different thing from what we usually do.
Don’t be afraid of silence when there is nothing going on.
Give yourself 30-60 minutes of no plans and do something you know you love.
5. Present yourself things you love
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Sometimes it helps to just give yourself the thing that you love, even if that’s just some delicious chocolate or some sleep.
Whenever you give yourself something of value it gives you more to appreciate.
There’s no reason to hide behind your work or pretend there is anything wrong with your life.
You can give something of value to yourself and be happy with what you have.
6. Surprise yourself with a game-day pamper day
It’s important for us to be present with the things we love, so playing a game we love is also one way we can find fun in our lives and connect with our inner child.
If you’re getting tired of feeling stressed out all the time, then you can reconnect with your inner child by playing with your favorite game.
7. Gift yourself a treat-day
If there are things in your life that feel like they’ve become so normal to you that they don’t feel like treats any more, then it may be time for you to do something big and exciting again.
Maybe it’s time for you to do something that scares you or excites you in a way that might not quite be exciting yet but will give your soul some new energy.
Don’t let yourself get bored.
There are so many awesome things out there that you don’t get to do because of your habit of getting stuck in the same old situations.
Give yourself a treat-day and let yourself be present with excitement for something new that excites you!
8. Give yourself something you like, even if it isn’t perfect
When we try to be perfect all the time we become drained and not very present.
Instead, learn to appreciate what is happening right now even though it might not be what you want or desire yet.
Get clear on wants and needs instead of expectations about how things should be or how things should look like on your terms.