You may just be a really good friend, but that doesn’t mean you’re getting everything you need out of your relationships.
Take the time to step back and evaluate your friendships, and see if there are any signs that they might not be as healthy as they should be.
To help point out the red flags, we’ve put together this list of five tell-tale signs that maybe it’s time to find new friends!
This ASP Friends will provide 5 signs to know if it is a toxic friendship or not :
1. You find yourself constantly apologizing for your friendship
If you find yourself frequently saying things like, “I’m sorry I’m just not that available right now,” or “I know I always cancel plans last minute, but I’ll try to do better,” then it’s time to reevaluate your friendship.
You should never apologize for being your best self. Your friendships should bring balance into your life, not contribute to a stressful lifestyle where you feel like you’re always letting others down.
If this is happening, then most likely the relationship isn’t serving you as much as it should be. It’s difficult for you to apologize or extend grace.
You feel like you always have to play “catch up” with your friendships; every conversation is about what happened last week over coffee, because it feels like all of your friends are moving on without you.
It’s you and your friend – and it’s not enough anymore; we want more. You feel like you can never do enough for your friends, and that makes you feel resentful.
How about having a conversation with your friend and asking them what they’re wanting? Get some clarity on what they need from the relationship, and be willing to let it go if that’s not what they want.
2. You know you guys have a lot in common, but you don’t feel a connection
When you were first introduced to each other, you each shared a mutual interest in.
But over time, you’ve started to drift apart. When it came to the things that brought both of your interests together, there were moments that made your friendship seem synonymous with the things that kept the relationship from growing into something more.
So now what? Your friendship has been pushing “Danger” for too long. It’s time to find those friends who have those things in common with you and those who make your friendship flow more naturally and with peace.
3.You find yourself getting bitter or jaded in the relationship.
Maybe one-on-one time is important, but sometimes when two people are together for too long without engaging in any sort of conversation, things can get bitter or jaded.
It’s hard to work through the friendship when there are no checks in place.
You’re playing small in your relationship. If you feel like you’re not getting what you need in the relationship, then that’s OK! Ask for what you want or need in your relationships.
This is a big one, because if you don’t ask for what your friendship needs, it won’t get better.
4) You find yourself comparing your friendship to others’.
It’s easy to see how close other friends are, or how they are able to go out more often without spending money on one another, and then think that something is wrong with your friendship.
So many times, friendships drift apart because each person starts to compare their friends with other friends. But there is no “Standard Friendship.”
Each friendship can be different and each relationship should be nurtured as the individual it is.
In today’s culture, there are so many messaging systems, groups, and apps to keep in touch with those friends from high school or your first job.
It’s easy to fall into a pitfall of comparing yourself to others and what you feel like you’re “missing out on”.
But it’s important to remember that not every relationship serves the same need – not every friendship serves the same purpose – not every experience or situation that you repeat will help your friendships grow – They’re different.
5) Your friend is more of a source of chaos than a source of peace.
One of the most important parts of any friendship is being able to have peace in the relationship. Without peace, there can never be another layer of friendship.
As Christians, we are called to love others at the highest level possible. But how do you love your friends if they are causing havoc in your life? Instead of trying to find a way to get them out of your life, ask yourself what you can do better for them.
Is there something that you’re not doing that might help the situation? It may seem hard to cut someone off, but it’s always better to remove yourself from a situation that is causing anything but peace.